It’s Thursday morning. I’m laying in my bed fighting the temptation to simply lay in bed and read my new found novel or devotionals before showering and prepping for work. I won’t give in. Actually I can’t give in. You see, I made a commitment to myself this past month that I would have a blog post published every Wednesday and Saturday and can you guess what didn’t happen last night? Well this precisely did not happen last night. After a 7 mile bike hike and time spent in the grocery store and then more time spent in the fragrance and beauty department I came home to put away my groceries, bathe my son, make him a snack and read him a bedtime story. By the time I realized that I had failed to publish a posting it was too late. I was already drifting into slumber and I would not resist it. Life happens. Sometimes our commitments fall through. Sometimes we let ourselves down. Sometimes we let others down. The most important tasks is that we get back up to stand back on our own two feet. The most important task is that we show that yes we are human but that we are still capable of greatness and change and evolvement. It’s important to prove to ourselves that we are dependable and reliable and that our word holds value.
In short we need to do what we do for ourselves and God before anyone else. Is it easy? No. Sometimes it’s easier to do things to prove ourselves to others because that is where our drive and motivation are. It’s not nexus bad thing to use this as a catalyst for doing better and being better but if you constantly do it for others and never for yourself eventually you may become resistant and ill willed. Don’t compete. Do it for yourself.
“I compete with no one” I said to myself this past week. It felt refreshing to say those words to myself. It came from a place of peace and contentment. I had been competing in workouts and movement challenges for the past month and a half. Week after week I was doing my best to prove myself a winner. I was doing my best to win and win I did. I won. I won five times out of six but do you know what happened? I was tired of competing. I was tired of doing it for the sake of winning and being challenged against someone else. I wanted to instead do it for myself. I wanted to instead compete against no one but myself and show myself that little progress was better than no progress and that these “tasks” could be enjoyable and fruitful when done in a non competitive manner and if I didn’t meet my goal one day that it was ok because I was showing myself love and compassion and room to grow and room to fail.
Is this just about the competitive nature of fitness challenges? No. It’s about life. In some areas we may be behind. We may lack growth, maturity and character traits that we need to move forward but that doesn’t mean that we will always be behind. Surely what we perceive as being “behind” may not even be so as we all have our our journey to walk and our own life lessons to live. Competing against others began wearing on me and I don’t mean physically. It was the mental processes of “how much more do I have to do to win?” It became a mental shift and focus. Six weeks is a long time to focus on such. Rather by stepping back I was able to reassess. “I compete with no one.” Doesn’t mean that I won’t partake in challenges or in friendly competition but it means that my focus is on my personal growth and development and to nurture it in is natural evolvement. It means change is gradual and consistency even if very small matters more than going all in and failing time and time again. It means doing things with a joyful heart and sound soul. It means keeping things in perspective and focusing on doing better today than yesterday and forgiving myself when I fail today but preparing to do better than my failures tomorrow.
Compete with no one. Compete with yourself. Better yet, don’t compete. Love on yourself, take care of yourself, help nurture yourself, find joy in the process of personal individualized development and growth and go forth competing with no one the majority of life or if you must then refocusing that to compete with your former self.